And now for something completely different

While the Croydon Communist Party’s election campaign in Croydon North gathers pace, let’s take a break and look at what’s happening in Croydon South. Notwithstanding some nervousness by the Tory candidate, Chris Philip, over UKIP – in his election address he blames the Tory’s loss of Croydon Council last year to Labour by 10 seats to UKIP defections – this seat is a plumb job for life for whoever the Tory Party selects. This is especially true if the appointee can keep his previous business interests going. Who can live on an MP’s salary of £74,000 these days?

This will suit Mr Philip. He’s a Cambridge graduate in physics, which means he’s smart and expert in mathematics. Like many with this qualification, however, he turned his back on physics and applied his skills to the murky but more lucrative world of finance, i.e. those clever people who brought the economy to its knees in 2007-8, not, as the Tories would have you believe, the Labour Party by employing too many nurses. Having abandoned physics he went to work for McKenzie, the US consultants and wheeler dealers, then left (following a well trodden path) to start his own businesses in ‘distribution’. His election address says he drove the delivery van himself at the beginning, but don’t be fooled: he’s a money man through and through. He sold the business in no time at all and must now be a (multi?) millionaire. Then he went on to become a co-founder and partner in Pluto Finance, a business that lends to developers of luxury apartments. Their most prominent investment in the UK is a 36 apartment development in West Hampstead in which a one bedroom apartment sell for £0.5 million, two bedrooms for £0.7 million. Just what the UK housing crisis needs!

So much for the man. What about the policies Mr Philip is putting before his electors? He would like to take credit for the new A&E unit in Croydon University Hospital, ignoring the fact that it has been failing due to Tory cuts. He brags about the government having created 1.8 million new jobs but doesn’t mention zero hours contracts and job insecurity. But then even the Labour Party doesn’t these days mention the best form of job security, strong trade unions. He says he wants to protect the NHS while ignoring the fact that his government is responsible for its current parlous state. Most ludicrous of all, he would like to “hold Southern Rail to account” for its “terrible performance”. it doesn’t need holding to account, it needs to be stripped of its franchise and for the service to be re-nationalised.

Unfortunately, we are going to have to get used to Mr Philip and his foibles. It’s said that the voters of Croydon South will vote for anyone provided he (and it usually is he) wears a blue rosette. Provided Mr Philip can avoid the slip ups that tend to beset Tory MPs in safe seats, he’s likely to be around for a long time.

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